DEAR DEIDRE: I met someone I like and I don’t know how, or even if I deserve to tell him about my STI.
Or we’re 60 years old and we met a month ago.
I joined the company after my wife passed away.
My family was very supportive and my children visited me to support me corporately; However, despite that, there was a huge void in my life.
I rarely left home for two years, but I still felt strong enough and knew I was in a position to meet someone else.
I engaged with this woman but put off sharing the fact that I have genital herpes.
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I had herpes at age 24 thanks to my first girlfriend.
The day I discovered the red sores around my genitals, my life ended.
Luckily I met my wife, who was glorious and incredibly understanding of my situation.
It has never affected our relationship, but I am aware that it will not.
I’m worried that this will end the relationship before it starts. What will I need to do?
DEIDRE SAYS: There’s a huge stigma attached to having an STI, so it’s natural to feel nervous about sharing this information with your partner.
Still, you must be fair to this woman.
When you have a quiet moment, tell him that he will do anything important.
Explain that you respect her, that you are her, and that you are going to confide in her something very private. This will emphasize how much dating means to you.
It’s that you inspire her to ask yourself questions so she can see that you need to be open and understand how to manage your herpes.
Many other people will be attracted to you precisely for what you are: with or without herpes.
However, we all face rejection, whether we have herpes or not.
Thousands of people are denied dating and relationships every day.
So, if she makes the decision to end the relationship, you should know that she wasn’t the right user for you. That user is still waiting there.
The Herpes Virus Association (herpes. org. uk) is a patient charity that works to decrease the stigma attached to genital herpes. They will be able to help you with any issues you may have in the future.
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