The best dating apps for introverts who prefer books to bars

If the thought of ordering a drink in a crowded bar or chatting with strangers at a party makes you feel like you’re jumping out the nearest window, you’re an introvert, and that’s okay! See you. We are you.

There’s no shame in feeling more comfortable with an e-book than in the city, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up a life of solitude either. In fact, introverts make amazing partners, lovers, and friends, once we meet someone.

It may surprise you, but dating apps (and even some of the outdated dating sites that still exist) are the best position for introverts. On those platforms, you can show who you are without feeling the pressure. be constantly “active” as you would in a classic social setting.

Yes, it’s true that dating apps still get a bad rap as the last hotel for the desperate, but for introverts, those nifty little teams provide a much-needed buffer that allows us to slowly and comfortably get to know potential partners. When you meet someone online, you can take the time to make the kind of deep and meaningful connections that come from success in today’s fast and shallow dating culture.

Although we are big fans of online dating, especially for our introverted readers, not all dating platforms are created equal. Tinder, for example, is the complete opposite of what introverts are. Its hookup-focused interface and swipe-left style are a recipe for crisis for shy singles who prefer to get to know their partners before jumping into bed. (If dating apps were places, Tinder would be the crowded sports bar. )

Instead, we found that dating apps like Hinge, OkCupid, and Match are much better suited for introverts. Unlike Tinder, those dating platforms inspire users to share a little more about themselves, from long profile bios to interest lists and market breakdowns.

So to help you find your match, the one who will understand and appreciate you for who you are, we’ve rounded up the best dating sites for introverts like you. (Also, some possible options for connecting, like everyone has needs. Just because you’re an introvert doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun. )

If you are an introvert and you are between 20 and 30 years old and you are looking for something a little more extensive than Tinder (but not as serious as eharmony), we suggest you look for Hinge.

It is designed for even the shyest singles to express themselves comfortably and authentically. With profile messages, photos, videos, audio clips, and more, Hinge makes it simple to attach and start the conversation.

We chose Hinge as the most productive dating app for introverts in general, and we’ve made it even better with a new “Word Search” feature that allows you to erase express words and emojis from profiles and messages. This means that you have more about your online dating delights and can avoid any potentially triggering or unwanted content.

Unlike Tinder and other swipe-based apps, Hinge shows you one potential match at a time. This way, you can focus on each user and see if you vibe with them without feeling overwhelmed.

We also love that Hinge allows you to organize your interactions. You can like or respond to the parts of the profile that catch your attention and forget about the rest completely. Also, if you’re feeling a little embarrassed about setting yourself up right away, you can video chat first. It’s a wonderful way to get to know you without delay and you should give your number.

Read our full OkCupid review.

If you’re an introverted liberal and a compatible spouse who is rarely afraid to communicate vital topics, OkCupid might be the dating app you’ve been waiting for. It’s a network (we’ve discovered a lot of people between the ages of 25 and 34) where you can be honest, share your passions, and find someone who understands you, not just your photos.

OkCupid is by far one of the most popular liberal dating sites and is rarely advertised as such (other political apps like Lefty, caniDate, and Liberal Hearts are pretty far ahead in this). It stands out from dating platforms for its algorithms, formulas, and user-generated responses, making it an excellent choice for introverts.

Unlike speed, swipe-focused dating apps (read: Tinder) that can seem exhausting for introverts, OkCupid encourages a more planned and considered approach to online dating. You can take your time to browse through profiles, engage in meaningful conversations, and observe common interests before deciding if you need to sleep with someone. It is an area where you can be yourself, find your loved ones and build important relationships.

Read our full AdultFriendFinder review.

Read our full review of the match.

Match is the dating app for introverts who need to take it easy and meet genuine adults.

Most users are between the ages of 30 and 49, so you’ll most likely find other people who are well-established in their careers, have a clear idea of who they are, and are committed to anything meaningful. Also, since the over-50 organization is the fastest-developing demographic on the app, Match offers a varied pool of potential partners.

We chose Match as our highest-paying introvert dating app because it understands that meaningful dating takes time. They are Goldilocks dating apps: not too casual and not too serious, but they are the best for making genuine connections on your own time. And with Jay Shetty, the prominent podcast host, as your new dating advisor, you can expect even more advice on your adventure to find your best match.

But even without Shetty’s wisdom, Match is still a winner for introverts. Match’s filtering features let you hone in on other people who share your passions, whether they’re books, board games, or hard-to-understand indie bands. This means you can avoid awkward conversations. and have important conversations from the beginning.

Another easy-to-use feature of Match is the Incognito mode, which allows you to browse through profiles without knowing you’ve seen them. It’s a wonderful way to get acquainted with the network and see who piques your interest before you enter.

Read our full eharmony review

If your dating dreams involve more than just a fleeting summer romance, harmony can be the price for lasting love. This app is designed for introverts who are in a position to take themselves seriously and find someone who truly understands them, someone they can build their life with (whether that means moving in together or dating). marry).

And while eharmony has classically been a conservative dating site, the platform has been criticized for moving away from its classic line and embracing more inclusive features like same-sex dating (which is news for the LGBTQ community).

We chose eharmony as the most productive marriage dating app because it goes beyond superficial swiping and focuses on long-term compatibility. It uses an ultra-intelligent matching formula that examines 32 other dimensions of compatibility. All you have to do is fill out their questionnaire, and boom, start getting matches based on more than just superficial attraction.

The RelyID feature ensures that all users of the app are legitimate, so you can breathe easy knowing that you’re not talking to robots or cat fishermen. In addition, its privacy settings keep your profile hidden from people you are not compatible with, which means you are not compatible. less likely to receive scary messages from hikers.

We know that initiating a verbal exchange can be challenging for many introverts. That’s why we love eharmony’s thoughtful communication technique. The app includes verbal exchange starters about your personality tests, prompts, and uploaded photos, making it easy to break the ice and chat with your matches.

If you are an introvert over 50 and know that love has no expiration date, SilverSingles may be the best position to find your best match.

It is specially designed for users who enjoy life under their belt and are not interested in gaming. Whether you’re returning to the dating scene after a long hiatus or to get married, SilverSingles can help you draft the next bankruptcy declaration of your love story, proving that age is just a number when it comes to matters of the heart.

SilverSingles (a sister site to EliteSingles and Mashable, the best choice for the most productive senior dating app) is designed for people over 50 for serious and meaningful relationships. It has a strong focus on compatibility and only streams 3-5 games per week. day. This helps to reduce tension and make it less difficult to focus on matches that are maxed out is probably a smart match for you.

Each SilverSingles profile includes a wealth of information, such as your personality type, interests, and dating goals. This allows you to fully perceive the possible fit before starting a conversation.

Read our full Bumble review.

Bumble is designed for women and other non-binary people who need to take advantage of their dating experience. This allows them to take the first step, offering a refreshing option to classic dating apps.

With Bumble, women and other non-binary people can feel the frustration of receiving spam messages or finding inactive matches commonly found on other platforms. (And, if you’re an introverted man, it saves you the trouble of finding verbal exchange starters. )

We chose Bumble because it flips the script from the classic dating dynamic, giving women and non-binary users the strength to make the first move. This is a critical win for introverts as it relieves the strain of starting conversations and for a more comfortable and controlled dating experience.

Bumble relaunched its “First Move” feature in April 2024, giving users new icebreaker tactics. Women and other non-binary people now have the opportunity to define (or create) “opening moves,” which all of their partners can respond to. This means that there will be no more annoying “hey. . . ” messages.

Bumble works with other dating apps, although with a few key differences. Matches expire after 24 hours, so you don’t have to worry about accumulating a million unread messages. This helps you get things done and avoid that overwhelming feeling of having too many. options. Plus, thanks to its new AI photodetector, you can be sure that the other people you’re chatting with will show up too.

And for those times when you’re not necessarily in favor of romance, Bumble has you covered. You can also check out Bumble BFF to locate platonic friends and Bumble Bizz for networking.

Coffee Meets Bagel (CMB) is a dating app for busy singles looking to build authentic relationships with little to no effort.   Most users are really looking for something serious, so the combination of those points means that you find a large number of young professionals in their 20s and 30s on this app.   (It’s kind of like EliteSingles for millennials. )

CMB uses a set of rules that takes into account points ranging from fundamental data (such as location and age) to more nuanced criteria (such as social network and interests) to find potential partners that fit your preferences. This considered adaptation procedure is helping introverts. eliminating the need for extensive browsing and scanning, saving time and energy.

Instead of overwhelming users with endless options, CMB organizes a unique appointment for each user daily. This technique allows for a more targeted and planned dating experience, giving users time to complete all potential connections. In addition, CMB offers icebreaker questions to facilitate an elegant initial conversation, and the chat room expires after seven days, encouraging users to go beyond the app and meet in person.

Read our relationship between eharmony and EliteSingles.

If you are an introverted workaholic, EliteSingles is the dating app for you. The platform is especially popular among informed and relatively affluent adults between the ages of 30 and 55. With a gender breakdown of 56% female and 44% male, EliteSingles offers a diverse user base of over 12 million people. In large cities like New York, it has up to 800,000 users, at least, according to EliteSingles itself.

If you’re too focused on your career and introverted to find a date offline, this is a smart position to start.

We picked EliteSingles as the best dating app for professionals because it’s aimed at people who value intelligence, ambition, and finding a spouse who understands the hustle. But it’s not just for career-driven people: it’s also ideal. Selection for introverts for a deeper connection.

EliteSingles prioritizes compatibility over swiping. After signing up, take a (surprisingly interesting) personality test that will allow you to compare yourself to other people who share your values, interests, and even your quirky sense of humor.

Since everyone on EliteSingles is looking for something a little more substantial, you’re less likely to find those dreaded one-word answers or endless chatter. Instead, you can connect with other professionals who sense your desire for quiet nights after a long week at work. Plus, with a user base packed with successful people in different fields, you’re more likely to find someone who also knows the ups and downs of your career.

Boo is ideal for introverts looking for a dating app that feels like a social networking experience. This platform understands that introverts thrive in intimate settings and value deeper connections rather than small talk.

It is going the extra mile by connecting you with other compatible people based on your personality type. Through an in-depth personality test, Boo digs deeper into your personality and makes sure you connect with other people who truly understand you.

If Twitter and Mastodon had a baby (and used Snapchat as inspiration for their logo), it would be Boo. This online dating combines the most productive elements of both worlds, providing a unique combination of social networking and microblogging features.

Boo offers a more intimate and organized enjoyment for those who like quieter and more meaningful interactions. By joining themed communities, called “universes,” you’ll be able to immerse yourself in topics and discussions that resonate with your passions.

Whether you’re a bookworm to other literature enthusiasts, a video game enthusiast to your teammates, or an art lover eager to network with other creatives, Boo has a global matrix waiting for you.

Lex is a social media platform that welcomes anyone who identifies as part of the LGBTQ+ network (although the user base tends to skew toward lesbian and non-binary people). It provides a platform for queer friendship, building networks and expanding your social circle.

Instead of relying on swiping or taking selfies, the app encourages users to express themselves through private “ads” and notes about their lack of ads, their interests, and the type of spouse they are for.

Lex is not a dating app; rather, it’s an informal gathering place where other LGBTQ people can come together and build community. You don’t have to worry about the best profile pictures or clever opening lines. Just be yourself and see who you vibe with.

You can post, edit, and delete private classified ads whenever you want, while sharing your thoughts, interests, and desires. And while others were disappointed when Lex transitioned from dating to friendship and community building in early 2023, don’t worry: The founder promises there’s still plenty of room for hot messages.

“We inspire Lex dating and hookup users to keep posting interesting messages on Lex! It’s your area to connect for love, friendship, and more,” Lex founder Kell Rakowski told TechCrunch.

The overall environment is low-key and pressure-free, which is ideal for introverts who feel defeated by the typical dating scene. Plus, it’s absolutely free, so you have nothing to lose.

If you’re a shy user who is too willing to look weird (for fear of ghost images, rejection, or complicated first dates), an AI-powered dating app like Iris is worth trying.

This AI dating app takes you through 3 stages of “testing” to see which facial features you find most attractive. It uses this data to screen potential matches, expanding your chances of locating who generates authentic charm and generates a connection without having to sift through countless profiles.

Unlike classic dating apps, Iris takes into account your personal tastes and learns what you like before you even start. And, in a creepy yet cool way, it allows you to upload photos of other people that you find to create a more personalized matchmaking experience. (but only if necessary). And, to get to know you better, it gives you the opportunity to specify why you were successful or liked someone’s profile to further narrow down your matches.

But it’s not just about appearance. Iris also tries to satisfy your interests by filling in the fields and provides “flavors,” necessarily tags that allow your profile to speak for itself. It also features a TrustRating system, where the more complete your profile, the higher your rating. In addition, all users will need to go through a selfie check to ensure their authenticity.

We didn’t like the geolocation feature, as it can show matches far beyond their distance, but for creators that distance shouldn’t be a barrier to locating genuine connections.

Happn is a dating app aimed at hopelessly romantic introverts who are drawn to the magic of lost connections. If you dream of encounters of possibilities and encounters of possibilities, this app can simply be your virtual fairy tale.

The app appeals to a younger, swipe-oriented audience, similar to other popular dating apps like Tinder. With around 70 million users and steady monthly growth, happn has created a significant user base that provides plenty of opportunities to notice and engage with other people. they crossed paths in the genuine world.

It’s hard to fall in love at first sight when you’re too nervous to appear at first sight. Happn uses your current location to alert you about other users nearby. This feature is especially useful for introverts who might find it difficult to approach strangers. In public places.

Happn acts as a virtual endpoint, alerting you to potential matches you’ve encountered in situations, such as at exercise or in a coffee shop. If you’re interested in finding love in your network (and with other people who potentially share a percentage), hobbies, and similar schedules), this is the app to get you started.

Zoosk caters to a wide diversity of people, but it is far from a decent dating site. If you feel like you are running out of options, this is the most sensible option for introverts who need to explore the world of online dating.

The concept behind Zoosk is that it starts to perceive you more and more over time to help you introduce yourself to the user you can spend the night with or the rest of your life, as the site’s unique set of rules recognizes your user tastes through movements. You take. . . The only challenge is that there don’t seem to be many people actually using the website. Once you’re logged in, keep in mind that while Zoosk would have possibly been a wonderful place to meet other people in the past, it’s now a shadow of its former self.  

Features like SuperSend, which sends a message to a bunch of users at once, can technically start a conversation, but they’re necessarily the built-in edit of a Zoosk spam message. We can’t believe that the introvert lacks an organization of other people to answer to. When they don’t even know if they need to communicate with them in the first place. Zoosk’s features, such as adding messages, are the explanation for its exorbitant subscription fees. For a site that doesn’t seem current, we find it hard to recommend it. he.

Read our full Zoosk review.

We know that dating can seem challenging, especially for introverted lovers. That’s why we’ve spent a lot of time testing the most productive dating sites and apps for introverts, particularly looking for those that will help you find someone who will perceive you.

Here’s how we discovered the one of:

Tailored to Your Unique Personality: We didn’t just create one singles profile – we created several, each with different details, to see how the app’s set of rules would suit various personalities and preferences. We try to make sure that those apps can connect you with someone who really understands your introverted side.

Usability, Privacy Features, Smart Fortune Rate, and Overall Vibe: We looked for sites that were easy to use and featured strong privacy features (no one needs to feel defeated or exposed). We also made sure the sites had intelligent tracking. history of helping others find meaningful connections.

User Reviews: We read countless user reviews to verify that the sites were valid and working. We wanted our recommendations to be really useful.

Features that make it simple to start (and maintain) conversations: We look for sites with features that make starting and maintaining conversations natural and enjoyable.

Practice Tests: We tested many of the sites on our list to see firsthand how they work and how they would appeal to introverted daters.

Yes! Online dating is wonderful for introverts because it allows them to take their time to get to know each other and talk on their own terms. Whether you’re a sociable, reflective, anxious, or restrained (inhibited) introvert, online dating gives you the opportunity to be yourself without thinking too much about your interactions. Instead of worrying about chatting or finding the courage to meet in person, you can settle on the couch and explore potential matches at your own pace.

Bumble is the most productive app for shy men because of its outstanding female-focused (and non-binary) messaging system. But with recent announcements about the relaunch and possible conversion of its features to allow either party to interact in conversations, this feature will likely disappear in the future.

Dating is complicated regardless of your personality type, but introverts can find it more complicated due to their tendency to prefer solitude, their need for deep relationships, and their discomfort with small talk and socializing in large groups. By using a dating app like Hinge In fact, introverts can feel more integrated in their interactions and interact with others in a more comfortable and manageable way.

Bethany Allard is a Los Angeles-based Mashable business reporter who covers good looks, technology, dating, sex and relationships, and hearing aids. This means that she does a lot of hair, browses many dating apps, and spins a lot. of other headphones. In addition to testing and gathering the most productive products, he also covers deals for Mashable, paying obsessive attention to Apple’s deals and pricing. This wisdom comes in handy when covering grocery shopping parties like Prime Day and Black Friday. which he has been doing for 3 years at Mashable.

She graduated from New York University with a bachelor’s degree in journalism and English literature. You can follow her on X @betallard and contact her by email at [email protected].   In her free time, she finds herself playing her Switch, spending time with her cat Mila, or cooking anything new in her kitchen.

Tabitha Britt is a freelance writer, editor, search engine optimizer, and content strategist. In addition to writing for Mashable, Tabitha is also the founding editor of DO YOU ENDO, a virtual magazine written through other people with endometriosis, for other people with endometriosis. She holds a master’s degree in art editing and critical journalism from the New School of Social Research and is a graduate of the Sextech School. You can locate more of his paintings in online publications, adding National Geographic, Insider, Kinkly, and others.

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